What Synchronicities Can Teach Us
- Chris Tompkins
- Oct 18
- 4 min read
How paying attention to meaningful coincidences can shape your life.
KEY POINTS
Carl Jung defined synchronicities as meaningful coincidences that guide and illuminate our lives.
Paying attention to small, ordinary moments can reveal unexpected guidance and insight.
Even during doubt or hardship, synchronicities offer subtle reminders that a person is on their path.
One of the most powerful synchronicities I’ve experienced happened years ago, back when I was teaching social-emotional learning to middle school students.
I had just led a class using the metaphor of a tree to talk about personal growth and pursuing our dreams.
The roots represented our foundation and what helps us stay grounded; the fruit symbolized our gifts and the dreams we came here to share.
After class, I made the drive across town to attend a workshop I had signed up for a few weeks prior called “How to Heal Your Heart.”
When I arrived and sat in my chair, I immediately noticed I was the only guy in a room with 20 women. And I’m gay. My first thought was, “If I slip out now, no one will notice.” But I told myself, “No, you’re here, so just stay. You haven’t been in a relationship in more than a decade. This will be good for you.”
During the workshop, the instructor led us in a meditation. She began, “Imagine your feet are roots.”
My heart started pounding. “Roots like a tree?” I thought.
She continued, “Go ahead and imagine your feet are roots from a tree, connecting into the ground, and your bodies have leaves that contain fruit, which represent your gifts that you came here to share.”
I couldn’t believe that after having taught an entire class earlier that day using the metaphor of a tree, I was being guided in a group meditation, only a few hours later, to imagine myself as a tree. The more we tap in and connect to our lives, the more we will see that there really aren’t any coincidences, and even something seemingly minor serves a purpose.
When we experience a synchronistic event, it’s to help us connect more fully to our lives.
While this may sound beautiful and inspiring, what does it mean if we don’t notice or experience synchronicities? Are they always available, or do they only happen when we’re feeling optimistic?
What about when life is difficult? Are synchronicities still relevant during hardships and challenges?
Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity to describe these meaningful coincidences. Unlike random chance, synchronicities feel charged with significance—as if life itself is winking at us. Maybe it’s hearing a song lyric that answers the exact question you were just wrestling with. Or bumping into an old friend at the exact moment you’d been thinking about them. Or you’re watching a video, and the last words spoken echo exactly what you needed to hear.
Like recently, I was on the phone with a friend, wrestling with self-doubt about the years I’d put into building my practice and writing, questioning whether my efforts and dreams were really taking me anywhere—something I think many of us face.
After we hung up, I randomly clicked on a nine-minute YouTube interview with Mariah Carey about her new album. At the very end, the interviewer asked her what the best piece of advice she’d ever received was. She said her mom would tell her to stop saying if and start saying when. Then she looked straight into the camera, almost as if speaking to me, and added: Believe in yourself and your dream.
It could have been just another video. But even small, ordinary moments like this can serve as guideposts if we pay attention.
Synchronicities are like a road map for our lives. We can either look at seemingly unrelated occurrences and consider them a coincidence, or we can see them as specifically positioned guideposts to remind us that our path has purpose and each juncture holds meaning.
It may not feel like our paths always lead the right way, especially when we’re grieving, facing illness, or have closed our hearts after a breakup. But in time and space as they exist, we can’t fully know what everything is for—we live our lives forward, and often only make sense of them looking back.
Part of opening up more fully to our lives, and seeing the synchronicities all around us, is developing a relationship with trust — and in fact, progress happens at the speed of trust.
Deepening your relationship with synchronicity
Noticing synchronicities is only the beginning. How we respond to them matters. Here are a few practices to deepen your connection:
Keep a synchronicity journal. Note moments that feel meaningful along with what was happening in your life. Over time, themes will emerge.
Pause and ask questions. When one occurs, ask: What is this pointing me toward? Let your heart, not just your head, answer.
Plant intentions. At the start of the week, write a simple seed: “I want to notice moments showing I’m moving closer to my goals.” Then pay attention to what appears.
Practice gratitude. Even small moments deserve thanks. Gratitude turns coincidence into conversation.
Allow mystery. Some meanings only become clear in hindsight. Trust the process.
The next time you notice a coincidence that makes you think, “Wow, what a coincidence,” remember—it’s not random. Even ordinary moments can carry subtle guidance or reminders that you’re on your path.
Over time, these moments show us how our lives have been guiding us, often only fully understood looking back.
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Chris Tompkins is a gay male therapist in West Hollywood (Los Angeles) who specializes in working with adult gay men, individuals and couples. He supports clients navigating identity, relationships, religious trauma, addiction, and self-esteem. To learn more, explore therapeutic services or schedule a free consultation.