
My road trip to love.
Whether it’s self-love, the love of another person, or a spiritual connection…love is our destination and the journey always begins WITHIN.
​
Bartending at a popular gay bar in West Hollywood for 11 years was a big inspiration, and even training, for becoming a therapist. Among the biggest takeaways was how much unresolved generational trauma there is in the LGBTQ community. As a “fly on the wall,” I was privileged to hear the stories of thousands of LGBTQ people and community allies from across generations and around the world. I became a collector of these stories, which led me to learning about narrative-focused “story work.”
My official psychotherapy training began at the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where I received a certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Levels I and II from the Allender Center. I completed my clinical training at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, where I developed my competency as an LGBTQ-affirming psychotherapist.
I joke that I wrote myself into graduate school because halfway through working on my book, Raising LGBTQ Allies, I applied to become an LGBTQ-affirming therapist. It’s been a unique experience working as an LGBTQ-affirming therapist because much of my clinical work involves helping clients heal from the very challenges my book seeks to prevent.
Living 25 years as a closeted gay man, I became pretty good at putting up walls, mastering human behavior, and blaming everything outside of myself for my unhappiness. I’ve come to learn that my inner struggle is common among gay men. It’s not possible for a gay man to be socialized in a culture where heteronormativity is dominant and avoid feeling the sting of homophobia.
What got me where I am today is my journey of personal recovery. After nearly 15 years of anesthetizing my pain with drugs and alcohol, I’ve spent more than a decade in sobriety working to transform my past pain and heal from limiting beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, that tried to convince me I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough.
What I share with others from my experience is that whether we’re at a bar or a church, we’re ultimately seeking the same thing: a connection with something beyond the realm of this world. It’s just that one source is sustainable, and the other isn’t.
My path has taught me that connecting with our spirituality—or the direct experience of our essence—loving ourselves, and taking full responsibility for our lives and choices is where our strength lies at the deepest level.
​
If you're ready to gain a greater sense of purpose, self-acceptance, and belonging, reach out for a consultation today.
​

My mission at A Road Trip to Love is:
To help gay men heal past pain so that they wake up feeling a greater sense of purpose, self-acceptance, and belonging.
