Whether it’s self-love, the love of another person, or a spiritual connection…love is our destination and the journey always begins WITHIN.

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Bartending at a popular gay bar in West Hollywood for 11 years was a big inspiration—and even training—for becoming a therapist. One of the biggest takeaways was just how much unresolved generational trauma exists in the LGBTQ community. As a “fly on the wall,” I was privileged to hear the stories of thousands of LGBTQ people and allies from across generations and around the world. I became a collector of these stories, which led me to discover narrative-focused “story work.”

 

My formal training began at the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, where I completed Narrative Focused Trauma Care Levels I and II through the Allender Center. I did my clinical training at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, where I developed as an LGBTQ-affirming therapist and deepened my understanding of the challenges affecting our community.

 

I often joke that I wrote myself into graduate school. Halfway through writing my book Raising LGBTQ Allies, I realized I wanted to help people more directly and decided to finally become a therapist. In a way, it’s come full circle—so much of my clinical work now involves helping clients heal from the very challenges my book was written to prevent.

 

Before that, I lived 25 years as a closeted gay man. I got really good at pretending I was okay, building walls, and blaming everything outside myself for why I felt so unhappy. Over time, I’ve come to see that this struggle is all too common for gay men. It’s nearly impossible to grow up in a world dominated by heteronormativity and not feel the sting of shame or internalized homophobia.

 

What’s brought me here has been my own journey of healing. After nearly 15 years of numbing pain with drugs and alcohol, I’ve now spent over a decade in recovery, working to transform old wounds and release the limiting beliefs that once convinced me I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough.

 

What I’ve come to believe is that no matter where we are—whether it’s a bar or a church—we’re all looking for the same thing: connection with something greater than ourselves. The difference is that one source is sustainable, and the other isn’t.

 

My path has shown me that connecting with our spirituality, loving ourselves, and taking full responsibility for our lives and choices is where our strength lies at the deepest level.

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If you're ready to break free from the patterns that hold you back and find greater purpose, self-acceptance, and belonging, reach out for a consultation today.

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