Preparing for the Life We Envision.

A few years ago, my brother became a Captain in the Fire Department.

Around that same time, he was turning 40. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, and while we were catching up, he casually mentioned he’d been eating healthier and working out more regularly. Then he added, “I had a salad for lunch today.”

That caught me off guard because my brother has hunted since he was a teenager. Salad was never exactly his go-to meal.

When I asked if he was on a diet, he said, “Not really. I’m getting in shape for when I become Captain. I want to look and feel the part before I actually take on the role.”

Our conversation got me thinking about my own life—how for the past few years, I’ve been working to build something meaningful, something aligned with who I am and why I’m here. And while the path hasn’t always been easy, what keeps me moving forward is a deeper sense of purpose. A desire to use what I’ve learned in my own life to support others, and to contribute something of value.

It reminded me how so much of becoming the person we envision has less to do with waiting for the external circumstances to arrive and more to do with preparing ourselves from the inside out.

External preparation has its place, of course—my brother had to study, interview, and meet the qualifications to become a Captain. But equally important was who he was becoming internally. He wasn’t just focusing on external work—more importantly, he was aligning himself internally with the version of who he knew he could be.

Whether we’re preparing for a dream, a relationship, a calling, or a major life shift, the most powerful work often happens on the inside first.

From a spiritual perspective, the life we long for already exists—just like a seed already contains the blueprint for the flower it’s destined to become. The seed doesn’t need to do anything extraordinary to grow. It just needs the right environment—soil, water, sunlight, space.

If we took the seed of a flower and left it on the sidewalk, it would remain a seed. However, planted in the right conditions, it naturally becomes what it was meant to be.

We’re the same. But unlike a seed, we carry wounds, conditioning, and fear that can interfere with the process of becoming who we’re capable of becoming.

So how do we prepare the soil of our own lives?

One of the most important ways we can prepare ourselves is by looking honestly at where we’ve come from and what’s shaped us. That means looking inside and being willing to tell ourselves the truth—not just about what we want, but what’s held us back, what we’re blocking, and what’s asking to be healed. It requires self-honesty and, just as importantly, self-compassion.

We often think we’ll be ready for our dreams when we finally feel “fixed” or “perfect.” And sometimes, we think we are ready, but we haven’t created the environment, or consciousness, to receive what it is that we desire.

Real preparation isn’t about fixing ourselves. It’s about meeting ourselves with love, turning inward, and choosing to grow from there.

My brother didn’t wait to feel like a Captain before he began to live like one. He made choices that reflected who he wanted to become, and in doing so, he stepped into that version of himself before the official title ever arrived.

We can do that too. We can live in alignment with the life we envision—not someday, but right now. Not because everything is perfectly in place, but because we’re preparing ourselves to live the life we’ve been envisioning.

And maybe that’s the most powerful preparation of all: not just dreaming of the life we want, but becoming someone, day by day, who is not only ready but truly able to receive it.

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Chris Tompkins is a gay male therapist in West Hollywood (Los Angeles) who specializes in working with adult gay men, individuals and couples. He supports clients navigating identity, relationships, religious trauma, addiction, and self-esteem. To learn more, explore therapeutic services or schedule a free consultation.