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  • Writer's pictureChris Tompkins

A Surprise Lesson From My Relationship.

Updated: May 11, 2020

I’m in a new relationship. It’s not that new, but it’s unlike any other I’ve had. Up until now I haven’t talked much about it to anyone. We’ve been pretty low key about everything the past few years.

Up until this weekend I didn’t realize it was as serious as it was until I shared with a friend some of the challenges we’ve been having lately.

I remember when we first met, it was like I had been introduced to a familiar stranger. We hit it off right away and became best friends.

He liked everything I liked, even the stuff other people thought I was crazy for liking. We went everywhere together and I could tell him anything. He always made me feel like I was the most important person in the room and helped me feel safe even in uncertainty.

He’s been my biggest cheerleader and has allowed me to see what’s really important in life.

But the past few weeks I’ve realized my perfect relationship isn’t perfect and it hasn’t been something easy to face. I’ve felt sad and at times even angry.

We’re now past the honeymoon phase. I started thinking maybe we’ve been spending too much time together and we need to take a break. Being with him all the time can be exhausting and requires a lot of energy. I also noticed that sometimes when I’m with him, I feel alone.

He’s given me so much, but can be opinionated and seems to know a lot about everything.

He means well, but tends to point things out in others, as well as in me, that I’d rather not know.

After a recent argument I questioned whether or not it’s worth staying together.

I think one of the biggest signs of a healthy relationship is when you can comfortably be yourself, while still having the best of you brought out. One of the other signs of a healthy relationship is having healthy boundaries.

It never occurred to me that I’d need boundaries in this relationship, but like all relationships, I do.

He’s wonderful in so many ways, but if I’m going to be completely honest with myself, I have to be willing to look at the parts I haven’t wanted to see.

I’m very grateful for having met you, Awareness. You’ve been a miracle in my life in so many ways. You aren’t like any other relationship I’ve been in and I realize the compromise I’ll need to make if this is going to last.

I’ve always believed that if we’re meant to meet someone, no matter where we are in life we will meet. What we do with the relationship afterwards is up to us, but that our meeting wasn’t by chance.

Thank you for all you’ve brought to my life, Awareness. I’m truly grateful for what you’ve shown me and help me change.

The only certainty in life is, in fact, change, but growth is something optional. For the very reason I want this to work, I’m asking you for the space to grow.

You’ve expanded my mind and are now expanding my heart. It hasn’t been something easy, but I know my best is being brought out.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone and especially those who have been met with recent challenges in your relationships. It may not seem like it now, but your best is being brought out.

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